Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours.
- Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour.
As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says:
- Gorgonzola!
- Wait, it is not on yet.
One morning while making breakfast, a man walks up to his wife and pinches her on her butt and says, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle."
While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence.
The next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast and said, "You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra."
This was beyond a silence response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. With a death grip in place she said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your brother.
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
What should you do if you girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use a lubricant.
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping Tom?
A pick pocket snatches watches.
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